Photo Operations
Agents with phones and steady hands. They capture the subject mid-yawn, mid-stretch and mid-crime.
Case File MP-0042 · Status: Ongoing
Moonlyfans
The classified photo archive of Moonpie.
Moonpie is a white cat with black spots and a long record of suspicious napping. Every photo in this archive was captured by MIA field operatives, reviewed by analysts and reluctantly declassified for cleared personnel.
9Photos declassified
1,195Still classified
11Spots confirmed
SUBJECT FILE: MOONPIE
REC
CAM 01 · LIVE
Top Secret
Evidence Locker · Room B-12
The Moonpie Photo Archive
Surveillance photos of the subject in the field. Click any exhibit to open the full analyst report. Photos may contain extreme fluff.
Personnel & Subject Records
Subject Dossier
Everything the Agency knows about Moonpie. Some of it is classified. Some of it is just embarrassing.
MIA Subject Record · File MP-0042
Confidential
Moonpie
- Codename
- MOONPIE
- Aliases
- The Spotted One, Pie, Sir Loafs-a-Lot
- Species
- Felis catus (domestic)
- Coat
- White, black spots (11 confirmed)
- Eyes
- Green. Suspicious.
- Weight
- "big-boned"
- Threat level
- Severe (cuteness)
- Last seen
- Sunbeam, Sector 4 (living room)
Subject first came to Agency attention after the Great Houseplant Incident of 2024. Since then, operatives have documented over 1,200 photos of the subject sleeping, staring, and occupying boxes not intended for cats.
Subject is believed to be working for nobody but herself. Approach slowly, with treats.
Fig. 1: Identifying marks
- Eye patch. Left eye, fully covered. Primary identifier. Cannot be faked (we tried).
- Shoulder spot. Known internally as "The Big One."
- Hip spot. Heart-shaped from certain angles. Disputed by analysts.
- Cheek mark. The beauty mark. Appears in 100% of photos.
- Tail tip. Fully black. Believed to be used for signaling.
The Moonpie Intelligence Agency
Who watches the cat?
The MIA is the secret agency that collects, analyzes and protects every photo of Moonpie. Three divisions, one mission: never miss a loaf.
Nap Surveillance
Analysts who log every nap, rate every loaf and track the sunbeam's position at all times.
Treat Logistics
Handles bribes, rewards and the highly classified location of the treat cabinet.
Clearance applications are open.
Want to see the other 1,195 photos? Submit Form MIA-86 and Agent Moonpie will personally review your file (by sitting on it).